As I've slowly learned to acclimate myself to a semi-expat, semi-budget existence in Lilongwe, I've come to realize that I miss the variety of things the most of all.

Variety in food, variety in activities, variety in lifestyles.

In the States, especially in the big cities, we often take it for granted that we can go out to another neighborhood to try another type of food. We can go outside and take advantage of the different events going on in the city, and we can meet a variety of different people, whomever we chose to meet, when we go outside to make social plans.

In Lilongwe, the lifestyle isn't that free. True, we're all foreigners, all expats, in a society that exists (arguably) in the top ten poorest countries in the world. We're usually the ones who stick out by the virtue of genetics, often simperingly treated and driven around as if we're members of high society. We're told not to go out after dark, to go out in groups always, to stick to the areas which we know are safe and where we know that nothing could go wrong. But at the same time, the shelteredness of the lifestyle, the culturally-enforced house arrest after dark, is a crutch. It's nice to know that we're safe and happy and content, but it's not so nice when we're not allowed to do things, to explore or do anything else to our liking.

I know that I sound bitter - and maybe, indeed, I am slightly bitter with being enforced in a routine for the next three months that requires me to watch my language and how I act. At the same time though, I miss the variety, the ability to go out and do things, to live. To those of you who live in a city, don't take my words lightly - but what I suggest is you go out and explore your surroundings. Take the chance to do something new, fun, exciting, because not everyone around may have the chance to do so.

Never again (or, within the next time I reach the US) will I complain that I'm bored. It's only foolish to do so, given the wealth of opportunities outside.

But I digress, slightly.

On a recent visit to a grocery store - before you ask, yes, these do exist in Malawi, especially in Lilongwe and Blantyre - I noticed that there was baking mix in the warehouse. I have the ability to make scones, to make muffins and cupcakes and all those desserts that I love and adore! The thing is, we have no oven, two gas burners, two pots and a spoon. That's really it as far as our kitchen is stocked, and the good majority of the cooking utensils that we need can't be easily found here. We'd have to go to South Africa, easily a 3.5 day journey by car or a US$750 plane ride away. (I wish I was kidding about the prices - but alas, African air travel is in a monopolistic league of its own. One of the few reasons why I can't simply 'pop over' to South Africa to watch the World Cup. Sigh.)

That said, my housemates and my friends over at university would (possibly) remember me as the person who likes to bake and cook when they're stressed, tired or just otherwise want to procrastinate. I've made a variety of things - things like brigadeiros, fudge, fortune cookies, peppermint bark - and I miss making those so much, especially given my recent house arrest. However, given the lack of ingredients here - god, you have no idea how much I miss the variety of supplies found in US grocery stores - I'm limited in what I can make. We barely even have condensed milk here, for crying out loud - and butter costs me (easily) 2/3 of my recent shopping budget because it had to be imported from South Africa.

So, I'm at a loss here. I miss variety like none other. Ah well though, what was I expecting?

Work tomorrow. My first official week at UNAIDS. Needless to say, this is going to be interesting.